The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's blow job season.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
