for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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