We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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