last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
