So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
