I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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