I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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