i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
