I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
