Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
