He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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