Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
