We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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