so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
