you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
