Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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