It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
