8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
