The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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