What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
