So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
