i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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