I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
