Is it normal to miss your booty call?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
