Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
