There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
