That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
