It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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