I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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