If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
