Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
third nipple confirmed
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
