man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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