just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think my nap took me to another dimension
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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