I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
