are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
