My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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