Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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