U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Barsexuality is the new black.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Randomize
