You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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