What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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