Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
