you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
