Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
