my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
