Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
