I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
