margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
