Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want to be your penis for a week.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
