My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
