you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My balls are so social today.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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