found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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