There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
