we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
